Well, it's the height of Barleywine season. I also say that in April, July, September, and the rest of the months. I just can't turn them down. I didn't turn them down last night either. After the first two, I had some amazing thoughts and decided to create a new segment on the blog: Changing the World After a Few Beers.

I sat down to watch Flight of the Conchords, turned on the television, and there was an ad for an ER rerun. As usual, things were a bit crazy in the emergency room: bus crashes, plane crashes, gang wars, bombs, nuclear war, etc.--all on the same night! As the ER began filling up with patients and corpses, a man was rushed in with a gunshot wound. Now, in order to save his life and to save time, his condition was referred to as "GSW", and herein lies the problem.

The words gunshot wound have a syllabic total of 3: gun-shot-wound. Oddly enough, the "shortened" version, GSW, has a syllabic total of 5: gee-ess-duh-bull-you. So, in an attempt to speed things up and save lives, this version is actually slowing things down. As all doctors know, every millisecond counts. With all of the gun violence in the US, this probably adds up to a couple of lost minutes every year!

So, I implore all doctors--in real life and on TV--please stop using the "GSW" abbreviation and revert back to the original. It could save lives and television characters. There you have it. Next time you see me at the bar, I'm not just drinking--I'm changing the world.