True story? I’m pretty sure. I’ve got a witness. Unfortunately, neither her nor I were given permission to break the silence. But, on the other hand, we weren’t told not to break the silence. So, in the spirit of ambiguity, I’ve got a tale to tell. But, good journalists don’t expose their sources and good journalists don’t sit on important stories either. Luckily, I’m not a good journalist. So here we go. What I’m about to tell you did not happen and the photographs accompanying this story are faked. Really.
In an alley in Portland last night, there was a knock at my window. Normally, I don’t roll down my window in these type of situations, but I recognized the shadowy figure. Without a word, he dropped something in my lap, hopped back in his car, and sped away down Sandy. As my girlfriend said “What kinds of people do you hang out with…”, I turned on the interior light in the car and discovered a bottle of mythical proportions. Sitting in my lap, was a 22oz bottle labeled “Organic Green Elephant”. I looked out the windshield in time to see the mysterious taillights fading into the distance. Could it be? While my source was reliable, this was a bit too hard to stomach (well, until I got home and cracked it open).
Those of you in town know that this is one of the most sought after beers in town. Last year a seven-barrel batch–draft only–was demolished within 3 days of it’s release. This year, several hundred cases of 22oz bottles will be available at undisclosed locations. As with other limited Laurelwood bottle releases, my guess is that they will be available for purchase at the restaurants and breweries and some retail outlets in town.
So, if this story is indeed true, and if I did indeed drink the contents of the bottle pictured here, then you should be seeing these bottles popping up (and then disappearing) around town. Grab them while you can!
