Fire on the Mountain: Chicken Wings and Growler Fills
Has this ever happened to you?
You are sitting at home, pondering going to Fire on the Mountain for amazing chicken wings and high quality beer. Sadly, you have a problem. You rented 5 films, possibly Godzilla based, and today is the last day you have to watch them before you get nailed with those late fees. "That's how they get ya'" your father once told you. Only now do you realize how right he was. Due to your hectic schedule as an investment banker or longshoreman, you put things off to last last minute far too often and now you are in a pickle. If you go to the restaurant and dine in, an hour of film viewing would be lost. If you get take out you would have to make a separate trip for beer, taking up so much of your valuable time.
"What do I do?!" you shout to no one in particular. You could stay up late watching the movies but that would make you tired the next day, affecting your banking or longshoring performance--and you know that you cannot put yourself above your work. You could just not watch a whole film, but you want to get your money's worth. You could sign up for Netflix, making late fees a non-issue, but you are afraid of the mail ever since "the accident". Time is running out, you need to decide.
In the end you decide to get the carryout, but you must painfully sacrifice the beer. Time is saved, your work will not suffer due to exhaustion, but the lack of beer makes the wings less satisfying . The scorch of the delicious Raspberry Habanero sauce cannot be quelled by a crisp ale. No chance of having that marvelous after dinner beer that puts a pleasant cap on the whole experience of eating spicy fried to perfection chicken wings. You just have a glass of water and wonder how you became a slave to time. Defeated, you continue your movie viewing curled into a fetal position, crying uncontrollably while a miniature Tokyo meets its demise, over and over again.
Well, dry those eyes, my friend. This situation never has to happen. You see, Fire on the Mountain now does growler fills allowing you to get your beer and fried goodness all in one easy trip. For thirteen bucks you have your choice of filling your 64 ounce jug with one of seven beers (They actually have eight taps but one is Rainier, which doesn't count.) While seven may not seem like a lot of choices, the choices are always good and always changing. Local favorites from HUB, Amnesia, New Old Lompoc and Laurelwood can often be found in the mix along with quality beers from Walking Man, Ninkasi, Terminal Gravity and Double Mountain. In short, they have good beer.
So if your situation is similar to the one above or you just can't stand people watching you while you eat, head on into Fire on the Mountain. There you can get your fried delicacies and hoppy malty beverages to go, enabling you to quickly return to the comfort of your own home. At home, you can rest easy knowing that no one will judge you for the ring of sauce around your mouth, that bizarre click of your jaw that occurs when you are chewing, or the napkin particles that stick to your fingers and inevitably end up glued to the pint glass. You can watch your Kaiju movies in peace, the convenience of beer and food to go all in one place has saved you much hardship and allowed you to rest easy.
Please note that Fire on the Mountain carryout services are not exclusively for bankers, longshoremen or shut-ins. In fact, many normal people get carryout from Fire on the Mountain for many different reasons. These reasons include picnics, parties or simple love of convenience, AKA laziness. Also note that if you get the El Hefe wings, you must drink two growlers worth of beer to extinguish the burning that will occur in your mouth.
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